budgets

Why should you budget?

Basically you either figure out how to live within your means -  you spend less than you earn - or you go into debt.


That's it.


It doesn't matter how much money you make - if you spend more than you make you are at a deficit - borrowing money. I live in San Fransisco and I know folks who make alarming amounts of money and spend more each month than they make. And yet when I made $30,000 a year - an extremely low amount here in SF, mind you - I was able to save toward my retirement, save into my savings account, and pay off my student loans. So even though I knew people making 4 times more than I made - and even more - I was actually in a better financial position than they were due to my frugal ways. That's right - I was in a better financial position than people making three or four  times what I made.

So how do you do it?

Some people are really good at living within their means.  They may not have savings goals but they may have an aversion to debt - my husband was like this when I met him.  And this is great if this is  you too! He had a big savings and no debt - a perfect place to be. If you are this way you may still want to draft a budget and get some savings goals down on paper - to buy a house, retire, pay for your kids college, etc. Just to get you excited about saving. Another sort of 'lives within their own means' person grew up poor - like me - so they developed really cheap hobbies and they think eating beans for dinner multiple times a week is totally normal. Again - this is great! Unlike my husband I tend to spend to the limit of my income, but not over, unless I have some actual savings goals. A budget really helps me see my goals and how I can get there simply by the choices I make about how to spend my money.

If you are living within your means - but only just - you are at risk. If anything happened- to you, your car, your house, your job - you wouldn't have a cushion to fall back on. You would need to borrow money. You need to have a savings in case of emergency at the very least, and to save for big items like vacations, a home, a car, etc.The general rule of thumb is to have 3 - 6 months living expenses in your savings account, in case of one of these emergencies.

So lets create our budget and start saving today!


Creating a Budget

So you are ready to budget - that's great! Yay! Let's think of something we want ot save for. Emergencies. A home. A vacation. Something because a goal helps.

First up, it does help if you have some idea about what you spend your money on right now, so try to keep track for a month. Computer savvy & do most of your spending on a debit or credit card? Hook your bank accounts and credit cards up to Mint and you can see what you spent your money on last month. Otherwise download from your bank. And add in all the ATM withdraws under miscellaneous.

Shocked?! If you are like a lot of people you just discovered you spent a car payment on coffee shop coffee last month and a mortgage payment on your debt. Never fear - knowing whats going on money wise is half the battle. If you see some spending you are not happy with, change it. I know it seems hard, but it is doable. Bring your own coffee. Get a small regular coffee instead of a big fancy coffee drink. Bring your lunch. Buy groceries and start to cook at home. Small changes add up to big bucks! But I digress!

What do you need to create a budget? A spreadsheet is great, excel or google docs are wonderful. But honestly, a piece of paper works just fine.

So, starting:

List everything you spend money on in one column
List the amount, monthly, in another column

 
Here is a good list to start with:

• Rent or Mortgage
• Renters or Homeowners Insurance
• Debt: Car payment
• Car insurance
• Electricity and Gas
• Garbage
• Water
• Groceries
• Restaurants
• Debt: Credit Cards
• Debt: Student Loans 
• Gifts
• Entertainment (movies, bands, books, Amazon Prime, Netflix, etc)
• Coffee Shops 
• Miscellaneous

Total it up.

How much is it? More that you make? Less? Are you including everything?


( Expert budget maker? Add in a monthly amount for annualized costs like car registration,or other annual membership costs like AAA. )


Now, the budgeting part is figuring out how much you want to spend on each thing and then reducing your spending to get there. This is where handy tricks come into play!

Lets say you want to radically reduce spending - so go from $400 a month on lunches out at work to $0. You need to break the habit - spending, and get a new habit: making and bringing lunch.That's hard. But you can do.

First: plan ahead and buy lunch stuff. Keep it simple:

Lunch menu: PB&J, fruit, water

• Bread
• Bananas or other fruit
• Peanut Butter
• Jelly

   
Next make lunch the night before.
Bring it to work.
Repeat for the week.

Now, how to not go to lunch with your friends? How to actually DO IT? That's hard but not impossible.   

• Trick one: Have no other options. Leave your money and ATM/credit cards at home. Once you get used to the new habit you can start bringing your cash or ATM / credit cards again.

• Trick two: Remember your goal: print out a picture of what you are saving for: a house, a bicycle. a vacation. Put the picture where you can see if at your desk.

• Trick three: Enlist a buddy. Get a buddy at work to also bring lunch or have a savings contest with a friend. 

• Trick four: Replace the habit. Learn to make super gourmet lunches from scratch. Or use the lunch time to take an awesome walk and call a friend. Go knit somewhere. The key is to replace the spending habit with a new habit that you like. 

• Trick five: Spending or Savings Made Visible: keep real paper money - the amount you have decided you can spend on something - in an envelope. Only use that money for that expense. So put your grocery money in an envelope and use it to buy groceries. No ATM/credit cards allowed. Seeing the actual money as you spend it is a great motivator! Conversely see your savings by putting your average lunch costs (15$) into a jar each day you don't spend it.

What tricks do you all have for saving? For budgeting? I am always looking for new tricks!!

-daslael

spinning plates

I love the celebrating Moms and Their Choices Series that the Gooseling Moms are doing on their blog. I see so many of us Moms struggle with our choices – what is right for us, for our family, for the child. What we have to do financially, what we want to do. It’s hard. And by sharing my story here I want to say that: It’s hard! And whatever choice you make is okay. I stand with you.

So, what were my choices? I work full time out of the house and I have a daughter.  She’s 4 ½ and I went back to work from my maternity leave when she was 4 months old, I went back to work with she was 13 months old, and I went back to work when she was 3 1/2.  Why – we can get to that. But how were these experiences different?

At 4 months old I cried. I cried a lot. I cried handing my little tiny baby over to my newly laid off husband. I cried trying to pump in dark, ventilation -free lactation closets (I started commandeering my boss’s office). I cried from hormone swings. I cried when my boobs squirted milk all over my expensive dry clean only suits. I cried when my lovely pregnancy hair all fell out in clumps. And my husband cried. He’d call and ask me to come home early – crying. And the baby? She cried nonstop! Yup – we had a colicky one. Suffice it to say – the reentry was hard. I was laid of several months later. Yeah – both parents laid off within 6 months of the child’s birth. But at least I was with my baby! I cried a lot less, but I worried about money.

I got a job about 7 months later, when our daughter was 13 months old. I was so jealous that my husband was getting all the good times! Our child was no longer colicky and was so much fun! Sunny disposition! Walking, running, playing!! Work itself was easier without the pumping and the hormone swings. The contract ended after 4 months and I was once again home! I will say, returning to work with an over 1 year old was much, much easier from the ‘leaving my baby’ standpoint. But it was harder from an ‘I’m missing out’ standpoint.

My husband began working several part time jobs and started a business. This quickly morphed into a 38 hour a week job at a local East Bay science museum, a 20 hour a week job at a non-profit in Marin and working 80 - 100 or so hours a week with his business. So basically he was working all the time.  I did the stay at home mom thing – I cooked, I cleaned, I took care of our daughter. I loved it! Spending so much time with my lovely, cheerful, fun child!  And it was hard. I was lonely. My husband worked all the time and I rarely got a break. I also missed being an expert at something! At work I was an expert – I was so not an expert at the whole ‘mom-ing’ thing. I have a blog post on some ways to make friends and stay sane as a stay at home mom – and not spend too much money, if you are interested. I will say - my house was clean and I cooked lovely organic vegetable based meals. I crafted. I pinterested. I had (still have actually!) bags of all the materials for things to do on rainy days. Home made play doh – check. Paper mache – check. But I worried about money.

We live in San Francisco – it’s an expensive place, so I knew I would need to go back to work, and I was looking for work while home with my little bean. For SAHMs who are interested in returning to the work place, I found just saying I’d been home with my child right up front in the cover letter worked much better than trying to obfuscate the fact. I did also draw attention to my freelance accomplishments, schooling, and any volunteer work I’d also completed. Pro tip: do try to volunteer or work a little while home, or go to school. It will keep you sane while you are home, and if you do choose to return to a job it will make reentry into the work force much easier.

I started working full time, back at an employer I‘d worked with prior, and with a group I’d work with prior, when our daughter was 3 ½. This time it was much easier! My daughter was in preschool part time and had already been clamoring to stay full days with her friends instead of the part days. I trusted her caregivers. I’d been able to ease her slowing into school, starting with an hour a day – something I probably wouldn’t have been able to do if I’d gotten a job earlier. I am not expected to work crazy hours – I leave at 4:30 and pick my daughter up from school. I don’t get to take her to school any more, I’m at work too early – and I do miss taking her to school. Not so many tears at 3 ½ - from any of us.

I love working. My job is enjoyable, uses my skills and I like my coworkers – which is super lucky, I know. We have enough money to worry less – we can save for retirement and college and I’m vesting in my retirement plan again. I got to be home with my daughter through the early years – which I am so thankful for. I made some great new Mom friends when I was home with her, which was hard to do – making new friends while parenting! –I am so lucky to have them in my life. We survived a financially tough time as a very new family and it made us stronger.  I still worry about money – it is San Francisco!  But less, I worry less.

My house is not a clean as I would like. Not every meal is a lovingly-crafted-organic-made-from-scratch meal – and those that are my husband now cooks. I think I’d like to figure out how to work part time, I’d like my house to be cleaner, I’d like to take my daughter to school.  I know that for middle school I want to be home a lot, those are hard years, so I am trying to plan for that in 8 years. But I also want to buy a house. Retire while young. Go on vacations. Save for my daughter’s college education. So – it’s a balancing act – the mom thing. And right now I feel like the plates are spinning just right……

Wishing you all the best on your parenting journey!

- daslael

staying sane as a stay at home parent with not a lot of money

OK, so you are staying home with your kid(s). Good for you! It was a little crazy making for me,  and harder to get stuff done than I expected (hey, I was going to write a book!)  but it was a fantastic experience being with my daughter for the first 3 1/2 years of her life and one I wouldn't trade for anything.

Here are some of the things I did to try to stay sane, and keep myself in budget.

I still cooked like a parent with a out of the home job - meaning I cooked  in batches. By cooking up a storm a few times a week we would have lots of things that were ready to eat all week long - like beans, rice,  prepped veggies for stir fry's, a big pot of soup, a roast chicken, a veggie casserole - and I would have free time in the week for outings.

I also tried to cook in the mornings, or at nap time, but not the evenings when everyone is cranky and hungry.


On top of chores - cooking, cleaning - each day my goals were:

• Something social for the child
• Something social for me
• Exercise for the child
• Exercise for me

I found that going to the same place at the same time on the same day of the week meant I would develop friendships with other moms, dads, or nannies. (Social!) And trust me, other adults you can talk to are a very good thing as a stay at home parent!!

A. Very. Good. Thing.

My Weekly Rotation

• YMCA gym with child watch (low cost)
• Park and Rec center toddler play time (low cost, and prior to my child being 1, free)
• Library toddler rhyme time (free)
• California Academy of Science (worth every penny)

YMCA San Francisco gave us a discounted membership and the childwatch was very low cost. Bean loved being with other kids and teachers an hour or so a day - socializing for her. This also meant I could assess her readiness for preschool when the time came, and I knew she had the skills to be able to manage school on her own. We started with just 1/2 an hour and I could check on her whenever I wanted. By the time she was 3 I knew she was ready for preschool - it was really wonderful to be able to ease her into a situation slowly. And typically the same kids were there every day at the time we were there - socializing for her! I worked out - exercise for me! I also love the YMCA pool and child swim lessons.

San Francisco Park and Rec has Toddler play times at gyms throughout the city. Cost and times vary, check their website. Our local Rec center had two weekly, drop in was 6$, if you bought a booklet or registered for the class it was less. Under 1 years old free. We went weekly to the Rec center near our house during the rainy season. You can also take lots of wonderful low cost toddler art, cooking, and movement classes through the Park and Rec - we particularly liked the Art class at the Hamilton Center.

The library is free, and in a city like San Francisco there are Rhyme Times multiple times a week. I have made some fast friends at Library Rhyme times. You know who you are! Thank you!

We went weekly to the same Rhyme Time and I biked, getting some exercise in for me, and tons of socializing for my child. We would also check out lots of books and DVDs each week - more free and wonderful entertainment!

In our city, San Francisco, I found that a membership to the California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gare Park totally worth it and in the winter regularly went twice a week or more. I got the individual membership as my under 4 year old child was free. With that membership I could also take a guest - which is awesome! I could bring my husband as my guest! Or a friend! One of the hard parts of being frugal for me is that I love to treat people - to lunch, to a snack, whatever - so being able to bring a friend to the Academy meant I could feel like I was treating, even if I wasn't spending any money. And treating that friend meant they saved $29.95, the cost of an adult ticket. Individual membership is $99 a year. As you can see, going twice a week and taking friends - this quickly pays for itself. Note: there is a super cool toddler room in the Academy, special member only hours an hour early twice a week, and cool members only evening events that are family friendly and stood in for date nights for my husband and I. Those events and special members only hours: no additional cost. If you don't live in San Francisco look for a similar museum near you! 

Less Frequently Than Weekly

Other places I went less frequently, so not every single week, included exploring playgrounds in San Francisco as well as all of our cool wild ares!

• Beaches (free)
• Hike in one of our cool rugged parks(free)
• Playgrounds (free) 
• Park and Rec center art class (low cost)
• Ride the Cable Car (low cost)

A lot of my friends went to the Randal Junior Museum (free!) a lot. It was a bit more difficult for us to get to as we were typically on our bicycle but I did go probably once or twice a year and really loved it. You can pet bunnies, play with trains, and build with LEGOs - all free. A solid place to keep on your list of activities. There are Junior Museums all over California, find the closest one to you!

San Francisco Park and Rec has a great tool to locate playgrounds and parks in San Francisco. We have a ton - it's pretty awesome!I would head toward the sun on foggy days and just get off at the first playground where it was sunny!

I always had a morning plan because getting out of the house was key to having a great day! So a week of mornings looked like this:

• Monday:YMCA
• Tuesday: YMCA Child Swim Lessons
• Wednesday: YMCA
• Thursday: Library Rhyme Time
• Friday: YMCA followed by Rec Center
• Saturday: Academy of Science

Afternoons were open for plans to meet folks or just adventure. Or stay home and make things. Pinterest became my toddler craft time reference library. I will say: lots of fails but it was fun to try to make play dough and oven bake pottery beads. I'd also meet friends at the beach, have people over, try to go on a hike, or go to a different library.

I feel truly blessed to have been able to spend that time with my child and actually miss being home. If I won the lottery I'd work part time or not at all and just volunteer for the causes I care about.

Have a great time at home with your child(ren)!


- daslael

practicing giving thanks, every day

A group of friends and I decided to start a 40 day gratitude challenge on February 1st - challenging ourselves to post at least one thing we are grateful for each day. The idea is that as we each focus on the things in our lives that we are thankful for we will discover inner wells of grace and positivity. I have participated in a gratitude circle before and it was life changing to find myself filled with positivity and grace almost against my own will. 

You can  participate in the Gratitude Circle by joining me on twitter where I am posting daily things I am grateful for - like the fact that my daughter is a reader! Or that my husband picked up groceries for the family! Find me on twitter here:@daslael

And thank you for reading this!

love letter to San Francisco

I was riding the bus this morning at 6:30 am and I had the following thoughts about San Francisco.

Thank you SF for being you. I love that my family only has one car. I can ride my bike, take the bus, or even walk to work. Thank you for the huge choice of open and fantastic coffee shops, on the way to my job, where I can get an excellent cup 'o. At 6 am.

Thank you for the diversity of people I see and interact with on my way to work - differences keep my mind fresh and open.

I love the quiet and clean sleepy feel of the avenues, the family and pocketbook friendly eateries within walking distance of our apartment. I love the cosmopolitan feel of some neighborhoods in the city. I love looking in the windows of posh boutiques, walking down winding roads past French bakeries, climbing up steep hills filled with tiny jewel like shops.

I love that I can eat at cutting edge restaurants, tiny dives, or get fresh produce, meat, milk and eggs from a local farmer - who I know by name. I can chat for hours with any San Franciscan about favorite eateries, delis, sandwich spot, pho, sushi, you name it.

I love the fog rolling in - so romantic! - blanketing the hills and nestling into cracks and crevices, reaching for the sunny open spaces on the east side of town. I love the wind in my hair as I hike through the trees in the national park that is literally next to our apartment, looking out over the ocean. That vista opens my eyes, clears my head of cobwebs and connects me to the planet. I love the sweet ocean air I breath each day - clean and oxygen rich. I love the way our city smells after rain, the green of all the parks near where I live, picking blackberries down the street from our house, and runs past the bison in Golden Gate Park. I love being able to be outside year round!

I love watching people on the bus help small children find seats. I remember how kind everyone is to my daughter when we ride the bus, chatting with her in a host of languages, giggling and connecting in some common baby language.

I love working at a world class organization - a non profit to boot. I love knowing my work each day helps others all around the world and right here in SF.

I love the crazy bust and boom cycle that means I have to develop a strong inner sense of what things are worth and not be swayed by hyper-intense market conditions and other people insisting things are worth far more than I think they are. I love packing my lunch, pinching pennies, managing a budget for my family, cooking dinner with my daughter, and making sure I get the best deal possible on organic beans. Being frugal and saving money are good ideas and a great skills no matter where I live. I love rising to the challenge of keeping my daughter grounded in a city with such wealth and such poverty - I know our nation as a whole suffers this same problem right now.

I love packing dinner, picking up my daughter from her amazing public preschool, and heading to the beach for a meal al fresco at Baker Beach.

I love having a small apartment. I can't imagine having to clean a larger space. I also love having a great reason to keep our possessions to a minimum and to curate my daughters toys, our library, and our closets.

In short: I love living here, San Francisco. Thank you.